Blog for Educators & Parents

Dear Difference Makers,

You know … getting Students, Faculty & Staff laughing at themselves and each other is a GREAT way to keep things upbeat and interesting because understanding ourselves brings down defensive walls and puts the mind in an excellent state for learning.

With that said …

What are emotional upsets actually costing you? 

Question of the day:  What’s it costing you to not do something different and productive with the people in your life that are difficult for you to communicate effectively to?

There has been some research that has come out from the Institute of HeartMath about just how long it takes the physiology of the body to recover after an emotional upset.

They observed that it takes between 1-5 hours after an emotional upset for the body to restore its Homeostasis of the heart and nervous systems; and that depends of course, on whether or not we continue to remain upset – playing things over and over and over again in our minds.

Avoidance, abandoning or “in your face” confrontation methods for dealing with emotional upsets are not ever going to GIVE YOU productive, synergistic results.

Learning how to be gracefully skilled and confident with techniques that transform de-energizing situations in 30 seconds or less is the intelligent way for you to finally have more of what you want in life and less of what you don’t want for the long term.

To quote Einstein, “We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them” …

The Cruel Frog Experiment 

Now, I am going to tell you something that I HOPE will make a difference in your life and the lives of those you care about …

The Cruel Frog Experiment
Several experiments involving the recording the reaction of frogs to slowly heated water took place in the 19th century, which even though cruel, illustrates what can happen when we live an unexamined life:

 Phase 1 of the experiment: The scientists dropped a frog into scalding water. The frog jumped out immediately, and saved its own life by doing so. You and I would do the same. If we find ourselves in extreme pain or imminent danger, we will flee immediately.

Phase 2 of the experiment: was to put the frog in a pan with tepid water and place the pan on a burner. The fire under the pan was turned up ever so slowly, until ultimately it was boiling. The frog did not jump out and ultimately died.

This animal cruelty experiment illustrates that in NOT doing anything productive about difficult people or challenging life situations we literally set ourselves up for undesirable experiences.

What might happen if you started to deal directly with the people or situations in your life that are giving you the most challenge right now?

The Catch-22 – what” going on in currently undesirable – BUT – if we speak up using the current SKILL SET we’ve been using, it’s possible that it’s going to possibly get more undesirable … Right?

Here are some poisonous Frog Speak Reasons we tell ourselves to let well enough alone…

• I am powerless to change things.
• I have no control anyway, why bother?
• This is just too hard.
• There will be backlash – hell to pay!
• They will turn it around on me and tell me I”m the crazy one.
• It takes too much time and energy to bother with this person. They are impossible.
• What’s the use, they will never change.
• I hate upsetting anyone when asking them to change.

And the most debilitating of them all, in Frog Speak

• It’s not that bad!

Frog Reactions: Some of the current ways we’ve been handling difficult people and situations in the present and past that are not working is that we …

• Get angry
• Get in people’s faces
• Emotionally check out
• Leave
• Minimize or bypass it all together
• Use blame, shame, guilt and our disappointment to get them to GET IT
• Become invisible

I think you can see that it’s a Catch-22.

So in that way, we are like the frog, but the undercurrents are always there with the potential to heat up and affect our health, energy and state of mind; we’re not doing anything to remedy the situation because we don’t have the knowledge.

I know what it means to rationalize with FROG SPEAK Reasons … in just
4 short years my life, I went from being a highly successful professional to feeling like someone was running their fingernails down the blackboard of my soul.

In 1984, I lost my first child at birth, a year later I had a high-risk pregnancy, the next year after our son was born I divorced my husband, the year after that I moved to a new state, and when all of my job prospects and interviews fell through, I found myself a single mother of a two year old.  At the age of 34, after striving hard in life to do everything the right way,  I  found myself emotionally and physically burned out and literally living on pennies alone in a huge, new city where I knew no one.

With the precious exception of my wonderful son, I had somehow managed to get everything in life I did not want!

Why did all of this happen?

LIFE WAS DEMANDING that I BE more, not expend more.

LIFE WAS DEMANDING that I take it upon myself to learn empowering skills on how to deal with my adult relationships much more effectively so I could become all that I could be.

That’s where the Color Personality Styles information comes in … by working from an easy to understand and apply PERSPECTIVE I quickly became an effective communicator where I had previously been victimizing myself over and over and over again.

AND so … Don’t be a FROG – Take Action!

My Connecting with Color Personality Styles System is so incredibly SIMPLE TO NAVIGATE when you learn how to Dial-In whatever Color Style people are in during the time that you are reaching out to connect.

Instead of working so hard to control the people and situations of your life – step into this opportunity in your life to invest in taking a short amount of time to learn how to DIAL your way IN to effective and synergistic communication.

This is the year to make the time now to quickly and easily learn the 4 easy to remember Color Personality Style Descriptions, Secondary Colors Combos, the 7 Life Areas of Interest and the ONE Technique that will remedy any and all intense situations.

Knowledge is power 
– Oprah Winfrey

Grab my easy to read book Connecting with Colors: Discover the Transformational Synergy of Personality Color Styles to Create Harmonious Relationships at Work, Home & Everywhere! — and FEEL better fast by GETTING in CONTROL of your life!

Click here to peruse Connecting With Colors

And here’s what getting all of our different personality styles SYNERGIZED can be like… EnJOY today’s video going viral!  Scot A. Pankey with Trish Parr and 9 others at A. Maceo Smith New Tech High School…

 

Reaching out …

 

 

 

Mary Robinson Reynolds, M.S.
MakeADifference.com/Colors

PS … FYI:  Preparation time to be ready to present Color Personality Style Descriptions is minimal for any one who already uses PowerPoint Presentation Slides.

PPS … The time is NOW to GEAR UP for this year’s professional development training and I’d love to come speak to your organization to train your group on the Synergistic Power of Connection  ….

AND I’ve also created a program where you can DIY – it!

My Connecting with Colors book is a companion to my DO IT YOURSELF – Connecting with Colors Personality Styles UTrain Program – for your In-Service needs.  YOU can bring this to your place of work…

Be the colleague everyone wants to work with and for;
Boost productivity and employee performance;
Ignite enthusiasm and excitement in your team!

Sounds impossible? It isn’t!

Find out how CONNECTING communication can instantly boost morale!

No matter what environment you’re in, chances are your colleagues get stressed out … burned out … and feel disconnected.  As a member of the team, you probably feel the same way from time to time. You know that leads to lower morale, decreased productivity, diminishing performance, and ultimately a decline in job security.

Oftentimes “Color Style” communication is the number one culprit to these feelings. Misunderstandings lead to conflict. A lack of information leaves people feeling in the dark or confused. In short, bad communication plummets morale.

Thankfully there’s an easy solution.

Connecting with Colors 119 page book is the quick and easy read that you will want every one you know to have as your gift to them (to make your own life easier!)

Quantity pricing is available.

 

Dear Difference Maker,

This is such a humbling classic …touching hearts everywhere.  Grab a hanky or shirtsleeve and ‘take 5’ to watch this!

Reaching out …

MaryReynolds.com

Grab a Shirtsleeve
Excerpt from Make A Difference Power of Acknowledgment UTrain Curriculum  

One of the unexpected surprises of the Teddy Stallard Story movie was the response we received from people working in the entrepreneurial, organizational and corporate environments.

While it was obviously perfect for teachers, parents and grandparents I had failed to realize that the most amazing value of this story is the emotion it stirs up in us all; it makes us want to be better people and treat each other, not just children, more affirmatively and compassionately.

And that’s the why the answer for us all lies in the transforming Power of Acknowledgment!

“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”
– Albert Einstein

Once, when I showed the Teddy Stallard movie to an audience of five hundred junior high and high school students, the groans, coos, ooos and ahhs were heart connecting.

When I asked for the students insights afterwards, they said that the movie:  1) made them realize that no one can ever really know what goes on in someone else’s house, and 2) in the words of many: “I realized that I really can make a difference.” I choked back my own tears. I had no idea how deeply and profoundly students of this age would experience this story.

“Mary, I just dropped my son at school after a very difficult morning … one of many. Patrick and I have one of those ‘clashing’ relationships where we are constantly bickering with one another. Your email arrived just in time and I watched the Teddy Stallard story. A box of tissues later I realize that ‘I Am’ the problem. I hear myself talking and that’s all I hear sometimes. Thanks for reminding me that if I want change, I need to create an environment of gratitude, laughter and encouragement. I know that, but today I needed the reminder and recharge. This time I won’t forget. Rather than respond to ‘my Teddy’s’ sarcastic tone, I’ll stop jumping in with an answer. We fight for independence. The mirror is a powerful tool and a very scary realization. Patrick is a wonderfully kind, sensitive, creative young man who has much to offer the people around him, including me. I just need to give him a chance to share that. I see more laughter in our household. That’s a good thing. Just need to keep it going. I learned something the other day …. the word ‘listen’ when you change the letters spells ‘silent’. Thank you.” – Terri Stanganelli

Also in …

This story is about so much more than a child being lost in the school system; it is truly about the Power of One Educator to change a life forever, through the power of compassion.

When I’ve shown the movie to adult audiences, it still amazes me at how quickly it softens so many tough exteriors people believe they must project.

It’s been reported to me by others using the movie that when it has been shown to men in corporations, most of whom were directors, managers and owners, time after time many of these men openly admitted that they had to stop the movie to collect themselves.

One Fortune 500 company owner told me personally that, while he had heard the story many times before, he still ended up using his shirt sleeve to wipe away the outpour of tears.

Conversely, when women in corporations watched the movie, the reports came in that they did not initially admit to being emotionally affected by it.  Only with a little additional prodding would they admit that they were deeply affected and that they did in fact (silently) cry!

I’ve had a “director” personality style woman come up to me and say, “I knew at the start of the story what you were going to try to make me cry, and I was determined not to, but when Teddy said, “You smell like my mom used to” you got me!  I cried buckets and it felt long overdue.

When I was traveling around the country speaking in the late 90’s, one of the things I was asked most often at Women’s Conferences was, “How do I not get emotional—or cry—at work?”  Men, on the other hand, are now learning how to access – to healthier degrees – their emotional selves, and this is generating vast improvement in how we treat each other.

Men and women alike are all products of our childhoods and our environments. There are a lot of lost and lonely people moderately functioning in our places of work and community. To generate a home and work environment that brings out the very best in people, you simply keep acknowledging people like they really matter.

Compassionate connection does this in the face of any kind of undesirable behavior or absence of healthy relating and fulfilling productivity.

Which is exactly why I’ve included this and other heart opening movies in my UTrain program so that you can be the difference maker where you live and work…

This movie is a GREAT way to KICK OFF the new school year …

You can get this movie individually or in our Make A Difference UTrain Program.

Click here to download it to use for your fall In-Services.

Click here for site-licensing.

I understand that there are those who are concerned that a DAY, WEEK, MONTH or YEAR long program will be overwhelming. As an educator and business woman I can tell you that this is exactly why I designed Make A Difference with the Power of Acknowledgment UTrain Program the way that I did.

It is an extremely flexible program with a simple system that you can bring to your people one of many ways for your theme:

Make A Difference DAY
Make A Difference WEEK
Make A Difference MONTH
Make A Difference YEAR

Now, you can take my ideas and create your own program which will cost you a lot of time and energy that you could be putting toward the other demands coming at you at this time of year OR you can grab a cup of coffee, sit back and relax.  I’ve got this covered.  I’ve done all of the heavy lifting for you.

Because it’s that time of year when leaders are thinking about their THEME for the fall and winter seasons just ahead, today I’d like to do something I haven’t done before and that is lay out what a 12 month Make A Difference YEAR can look like with just doing 2 a Quarter:

August:  Kick off In-Service with your top tier leaders setting the theme of Making A Difference with the Power of Acknowledgment Movie and I Make A Difference Ceremony.   Your leaders then take the session you just did with them out to their people and they take this session out to their people, etc…

September:  Make A Difference with the Power of Connecting Personality Styles with Grades K-4, Grades 5-12 & Teachers Styles.
October:  Make A Difference with the Power of Owning Your Greatness.

November:  Make A Difference with the Power of Compassion with the Teddy Stallard Story:  both in English and in Española.
December:  Make A Difference with the Power of Positive Self-Talk.

January:  Make A Difference with the Power of the Simple Gesture.
February:  Make A Difference with the Power of the Made Up Mind.

March: Make A Difference with the Power of Your Dreams in Action.
April:  Make A Difference with the Power of Making Your Own Luck.

May:  Make A Difference with the Power of Goal Setting.
June:  Make A Difference with the Power of Peace Today.

July:  Make A Difference with the Power of Giving Back.

=> Each Session has it’s own movie, discussion and building community (team) activities all laid out for you step by step.

=> You don’t even have to prepare ahead of time (I would but that’s just me).

=> You open up the designated Session and play the movie and follow my directions.

=> When time has run out, you wrap it up and save back whatever you haven’t used for another In-service when you need it.

Now, let’s say for example you want to Kick-Off your Make A Difference Year with the Teddy Stallard Story Movie instead of the Acknowledgment Movie.

Then you get to decide!  Move it up into your first Session and go ahead and launch.

Then you can move the Acknowledgment Movie back to September which will coincide with National Suicide Prevention Month.  This movie is a true story about how a very simple and heartfelt Acknowledgment Ceremony caused the actions of one teacher to dramatically altered the life a business man and his 14-year old son.

YES!  You Can Do This …

You will see that this program …

– Everyone just gets smarter! Increased EQ – (Emotional Quotient) & IQ for ALL.
– Reduces the discipline issues by getting disconnected people CONNECTED within a compassionate community of their peers.
– Increases productivity, performance and results.
– Creates the type of “safe to connect” site wide working environment in which every one will THRIVE.
– Shifts perceptions and creates innovative solutions for problematic behaviors.
– Engages a diverse group of people in thinking, understanding and developing compassion and extending it out to others as well as themselves.
– Causes people to make the 12 inch move from the heads to their hearts to better understand their impact on one another and that they DO Matter and the DO Make A Difference.
– Helps every one take more ownership over their choices in every area of their developing lives.
– Increases an inner sense of one’s life purpose, one’s connection to others and one’s sense of purpose in the world to be reaching to make a difference each and every day.
– Develops highly empowering LISTENING skills.
– Encourages every one to embrace their dreams and become self-motivated and collaborative in purposeful endeavors.
– Greatly improves internal self-talk, motivation and communication with disgruntled colleagues and friends.
– Helps people “find their voice” in ways that they can be heard.

Is today the day you really grab a hold of your life and own it!?

Thank you for the difference You make!
Reaching out …

MakeADifference.com/Acknowledgment
Click here to read last week’s blog: [Own Your Life] Learn Stuff!

Master’s in Educational Psychology Counseling and Development K-12 from the University of Nebraska; demonstrated expertise with every imaginable label awarded childhood behaviors, physical attributes and learning styles. This includes: Youth At-Risk, Substance Abuse, EBD, Suicide Prevention, GT, ADD, Special Ed, i.e. Intensity, Academic and Behavioral. Extensive experience teaching educators the key to “connecting” with students and adults based on their attitudinal energy, labels and expressed (as well as non-verbal) expectations.

PS … Do-It-Yourself with UTrain OR bring me in to speak and train for your team! Questions? Just call me at Heart Publishing 603-997-1908

PPS … Let’s not forget that if you have been feeling like there’s something more that you want to do, you can take this program beyond where you currently work by becoming a Certified Make A Difference Facilitator.  For those who feel the pull to make a difference and a living at this, I will give you 1:1 time every step a long the way.

Heart Publishing, the Great Northwest